Now is not the time to be dwelling on the past

The mood swings are getting worse. Chaos is descending.
I'm afraid.

I felt a summoning today. At lunch. A call to go outside. I shivered, not from the cold. I knew I had to go. This was a school, not a place of worship. Nowhere to hide here.
Out I went. I began to calm. I felt much more comfortable out there in the cold. Around the corner was a patch, just as I had pictured it, where for no discernible reason there was no snow. Of course, I thought, though I didn't know why. There has to be a boundary. I understood this in a way I don't understand.
I stood a fair distance away on the snow. "What?" I asked.
YOU.
The dark king towered over me. He seemed to fade and crackle in and out of existence, sometimes appearing only as static. I shifted nervously and stared at the ground on which he stood. It wasn't even wet. "No," I said. "I will not join you."
YOU CANNOT RESIST FOREVER. YOU ARE WEAK.
For a minute the Chaos was upon me. I shook violently, my head bowed, and could not speak. At last it ended. "No," I said again.
Am image of sameness was impressed upon me. He called up my fears about my heritage, my doubts about my morality, my loathing of my very nature. WE ARE THE SAME. I LIVE IN YOU.
I shook my head, panic rising. "No. Don't try to fool me with your illusions. Smoke and mirrors. I'm not like you."
He grinned wickedly. COME. CALL ME FATHER.
My eyes narrowed. "No." I shook my head. My hands curled into fists.
Something shot out and grabbed me by the neck. I gasped. CALL ME FATHER.
"I will not say it," I choked out. My arms were shaking.
Another shape crushed my torso. CALL ME FATHER.
"I will not say it."
A third wrapped itself around me, almost lifting me off the ground. CALL ME FATHER!
My eyes closed. For a split second I blacked out. Then, stillness.
"No."
The shapes released me and coiled back into the king. He shimmered angrily. I opened my eyes. "I am not like you. I'm not a monster. At least, I wasn't meant to be." I shifted again. "There's still time for me. There's still hope."
HOPE! His mouth opened in a silent, hideous laugh. HOPE HAS BROUGHT YOU NOTHING. YOU CANNOT SAVE YOURSELF. I felt the Chaos beginning to descend again. LOOK AT YOURSELF. WEAK. PATHETIC. BROKEN. THERE IS NO HOPE FOR YOU.
Flicker.
A friend of mine walked by. There's stillness. The dark king disappeared. I glanced at her, begging from behind my eyes for her to say something, pull me out of the king's nightmare world. She gave me a puzzled look and walked on.
I turned back to the bare ground. "They will save me. My friends will save me. This world will save me."
YOUR FRIENDS ARE NOTHING. YOU ARE ALONE. YOU CANNOT SAVE YOURSELF. He reached out to me. Something like a bullet thudded into my chest. I looked down. I'm bleeding.
"Ouch." I almost fell again. My limbs shook. My whole body began to tremble.
A bird chirped. Sound. I'm grounded again. Stillness.
I felt another touch of Chaos. The Offer was again impressed upon me. Power. Control. Understanding. Everything I've ever wanted, all within my grasp. The king reached out his hand. As it passed the boundary it changed from a pale human limb to a huge, crooked talon. TAKE MY HAND, MY CHILD. I WILL SAVE YOU.
I stared. There was silence. Moments passed. I raised my own hand and stared at it. It seemed so small, so insignificant, next to his. I knew that I shouldn't. I knew that I mustn't. Yet my every impulse was screaming at me to reach out, to take that hand, to become something greater.
If you do, said some part of me deep inside, you will lose everything.
I can't say how long I stood there, arm raised but not outstretched, thinking. Considering. Perhaps mere moments. Perhaps longer.
TAKE MY HAND.
I closed my fingers across my palm and pressed it to my chest. "You know why I can't do that," I whispered.
THEN YOU ARE OF NO USE TO ME.
I looked up. The dark king folded in on himself and vanished, leaving a black, hairy cat-sized mass floating in his place. Instantly it pounced upon me, clinging to my chest, eating into me. I fell.
All faded to black.
I awoke. Somehow I was still standing. The dark blob was gone. For some time I stood, afraid that if I moved I would fall over. At last I gathered my strength and turned, heading back the way I had come. Too late I realized my mistake; never turn your back on the druj. I barely felt it. Blood trickled down between my shoulder blades. Thankfully it was more insult than injury. I made it inside and spent the rest of the hour beating my head against a wall and curling up in a still, numb ball against it, trying to drown out the horrors impressed upon me.
YOU WILL JOIN ME. OR YOU WILL DIE.