Jan 10, 2009

Life, book 1

I'm feeling pretty okay.
I wouldn't say happiness is shining out of my every orifice but I've got my vim back, if not my vigor. Dawn has finally broken over the new world.
Psalm 42:

1 As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.

2 My soul thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can I go and meet with God?

3 My tears have been my food
day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

4 These things I remember
as I pour out my soul:
how I used to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving
among the festive throng.

5 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and 6 my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore I will remember you
from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon—from Mount Mizar.

7 Deep calls to deep
in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers
have swept over me.

8 By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life.

9 I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"

10 My bones suffer mortal agony
as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"

11 Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.

This was shown to me. It's highly appropriate. Also, we've (finally) been formally introduced to someone who will be important to us some day. Call it intuition or the Voice of God or whatever, but it's not my usual understanding of things and I just know.
Of course, the Chaos is still there. The tide is still there, seeking to devour me. I'm feeling very alone. But at least we're stronger now.
This is my dream:
I graduate high school and spend a few years at university. I get a job at a local hospital with good career opportunities. At 25 I marry a strong, caring woman who looks after me in the bad times and thinks I'm beautiful. At 28 we have a daughter with her hair and my eyes. She will grow up into a brilliant but troubled young woman who will seek love and find happiness. She will almost certainly go through a lesbian experimentation stage, which I will fret over but ultimately come to accept. I write two books, one on philosophy which will win an award and sell about six copies and a sci-fi novel that will do moderately well. There will be much potential for sequels but I never write them. My midlife crisis lasts twenty minutes, after which my wife throws a glass of water in my face. This calms me down. We visit Australia and much of the icy North. After my retirement I do very little to keep myself busy and die comparatively young.
At least, that's my dream. It won't come true.

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, Nine!

You're right, the passage you chose is quite apt. Quite so! I applaud your intuition. A bird whispered in your ear? I'd love to hear about how you came up with that particular choice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KDlD12PHOVk

Nine said...

You might say a little bird told me, indirectly. A friend of mine came to me after hearing me speak and told me that these verses had popped into his head. He has no idea how accurate they are.
I like to think that those words were written for the sole reason that I, some day, would read them. I like to think that much of the Bible was written with the people of the future in mind.
Nice song. Thank you. Not really my style, though. I'm more of a Nightwish person.

Anonymous said...

Well, they were written for the reason that you, someday, would read them, but not only you. You specifically, yes. But also others, also specifically. Including me, apparently. Maybe you were meant to read them and post them so I would read them?

I'm looking forward to hearing what some of the rest of you have to say, not about anything in particular - just to hear your voices.