The good place

I wish I could have some alone time.
Most of the reason I haven't gone completely mad (although come to think of it that's debatable) is because I have other versions of myself to talk to. Even when our friends ignore us, even when we can't bear to speak to our loved ones, we are always there for each other. We get along as well as any siblings can. We love each other really, on the rare occasions when we're not at each others' throats. We can always talk to each other. Always provide advice and reassurance. Always there. I am never alone.
That's... really a terrible thing.
I want to be left alone. Completely alone. I want a minute when these tiny, whispering, singing voices will cease, when I don't constantly feel as though I'm being watched, when I'm actually free within my own mind. I want the nagging doubts to disappear. I want the Chaos to be still. I want a few moments of sweet, total silence. I want cold emptiness. I want isolation. What others fear the most is the thing I treasure the most in the world.
Of course, I would soon become lonely. I'm too used to being in good company. Solitary confinement is used to break people, after all. Honestly I wonder sometimes how singletons can survive on their own. But it is important, isn't it? It's been proven that all creatures, including vultures, need their personal space. Time alone is really important to me. I covet it, I envy it, I feel awful when I interrupt it, I'd do damn near anything to find it...
I am never alone, yet lonely. The worst of both worlds.

Oh, the things I want.
I want to get married some day, but can't see it happening. I guess I can't see why anyone would want to put up with me for the rest of their life.
I want to sleep and feel rested. My body rises and falls, but I always feel dead inside.
I want a more athletic body. The kind that can actually do push-ups. Unfortunately the only way to get such a body is to do push-ups. Which, as you may have inferred, I cannot actually do. I have skinny arms.
I want a loud, confident voice. I can't talk over anything. If there's another noise in the room, it will drown me out. I only raise my voice when I'm angry, and even then only for a second before I put myself back in check. I want to not have to repeat most of everything I say.
I want some positive self-esteem beyond begrudging acceptance.
I want to create something beautiful. My works are unique. That does not make them beautiful. I want to make an impact on people for the right reasons.
I want to be tortured. I want to push myself to my limits and see how much I can really withstand.
I want to be able to express my feelings to someone without having to constantly explain myself.
I want to do anything without having to explain myself.
I want longer fingers (see above).
I want adequate facial recognition skills so I can know what I look like.
I want to remember things.
I want to want to be right.
I want to stop denying myself things that I want.
I want to be happy. I want to make other people happy. I'm always torn between the two and end up achieving neither.
I want to know what I'm thinking and feeling instead of lying to myself and having to guess.
I want to cry. I want to let it all out but I never do.
I want to watch the world burn... but I'd rather not get into that.
I want all parts of me to be in agreement about our religion, our sexuality, and our attitude towards the world. As if we could agree on anything.
I want my personal demons to come out into the light so I can deal with them.
I want someone to call me a freak, just so I can validate my insecurities.
I want the dark king and his minions to leave me the hell alone.
I want to build up my immunity to cold so that I will never feel cold again. I can live freely in the ice.
I want to have a daughter, and for her to be a lot like me.
I want people to be less stupid and just fix the world already. It's not like it can't be done.
I want people to recognize the hardships I've endured so I don't feel bad about dwelling on them. Of course, a trial is worth nothing unless you've got something to show for it. All I have are my stories.
I want the people I love to stop hurting me, and for it to stop being my fault when they do.
What do I want? I want to be loved.

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was I AM. This has echoed throughout the whole of Creation. Everyone that lives has been born with nothing but the Word in their minds, and they go to enormous lengths to live by it. That's why people need other people. We need to have an impact on others. We need to have a place in the Universe. We need to prove to ourselves that we exist.