Word dancing

We met a raccoon today. Out in the back field, eating an apple core. Strange, we though, to see a raccoon out so exposed, during the day of all times. Raccoons look cuddly... except for the claws, and the long teeth, and the threat of rabies. But they look cuddly.
We solved that mystery later, when we found it asleep under the apple tree. Apparently that happens a lot. Raccoons find an apple tree, eat the rotten and fermented apples underneath it, and get blind drunk. That's why they stay up so long, not having realized that they should be asleep. Anyway, it's something of a problem to have a raccoon on school grounds. What with the aforementioned cuddliness and all, it's only a matter of time before someone tries to pick it up or something equally stupid and dangerous. You don't antagonize raccoons. Rule of the Universe. Did find a couple guys later, though, pointing their camera phones at it and screaming obscenities at it while it was trying to sleep... sigh. These are the kinds of people who inexplicably swear every other word. I just don't understand that kind of language.

I'm probably going to get more involved with Focus (the new name for our school Christian group) this year. Bruce has made it a lot more democratic, which makes sense since most of our charismatic leaders have moved on. Maybe it's just a feeling of obligation since our numbers have dwindled, but I feel I can make a genuine contribution. I don't really like public speaking, but I feel I might do a few talks this year. "If God exists then why-" would be my usual theme. I'm good at those questions. Pain and suffering is the obvious one, possibly followed by uncertainty, and then by a third which has somehow slipped my mind. I had it a second ago. Hm. Anyway, I think doing this could be a really positive experience for me. I might also see if Pastor Mike is free, they're always looking for new public speakers.
The problem with faith for me isn't that I doubt my faith in God, but that I have next to no faith in myself. Which is nice in a way, because with all my lack of faith concentrated in one area it allows me to find true peace in my beliefs. It's one of the few things that lets me completely shake off my fears and morbid obsessions, at least for awhile. So it's all good. Well. Obviously my personal issues can get in the way of that, but still. Apart from me it's all good.

I know she's thinking of me. I just get... lonely, sometimes. But I can't bring that up without feeling like I'm bringing it up too often. Hm. Well. Never mind then.