Disgusting...

My name is Whisk. Im a girl trapped in a boys body.
I hate it.
I hate this hair. I hate this skin. I hate these thick arms and stubby fingers. I hate these stupid legs. I hate being heavy. I hate the way my head hangs. I hate this beard. I hate the way my chest is built. I hate the parts that I know Im not supposed to have and the parts I know I should but dont. I hate my voice. I hate my eyes. Such sad eyes... I hate them. I hate being big. I hate automatically being attracted to girls. I hate these headaches. I hate touching myself and looking at myself but I cant stop. I hate it. I hate it. I dont want to remind myself how I look. I dont want to remember that I look so wrong. I hate my nose. I hate my mouth. This isnt how I was meant to look. I hate it.
Im just trying to find myself. I just want to be me. I dont care what the others want from me. I just want to be free to by myself, think what I want, live my own life, no matter what. Im stuck with them. With these eight other freaks. In this one disgusting body. Theyre all idiots anyway. We have a GF? WTF?
I almost cried today, thinking about how wrong it is that Im stuck in here when I should be beautiful. I should be a girl. This isnt fair. I cant dance, I cant sing, I can barely talk at all. I sound awful. Like a... boy. Its disgusting.
I dont come out often. Im just stuck here. I dont get to live. I dont get to be free. I never get to think about friends or clothes or boys or any stuff girls are supposed to do. What kind of life is this?
I hate this.