The Quest for Self-Worth

Epiphany #1: Once a conversation has begun, the most difficult subjects to deal with are the easiest to talk about.
Epiphany #2: The only reason my past still matters is because I let it... or want it to.
Epiphany #3: A little boldness goes a long way.
Epiphany #4: It's actually nice to not have everything be my fault.
Epiphany #5: Just because I don't forgive myself for things doesn't mean that other people can't either.
Epiphany #6: Brooding over the past is a form of psychological torture. Don't stand for it.
Epiphany #7: Finally admitting that I have an addiction to pain.
Epiphany #8: It doesn't have to be this way. I don't have to hurt. I don't have to be full of self-doubt. I don't have to keep trying and failing to get the worlds attention. It doesn't have to be like this. It can change.
Epiphany #9: I can't keep hoping that God or Skeleton or some doctor will come out with the miracle cure. I'm not your average case. If I'm going to change then that change has to at least in part come actively, not passively, from me.

So begins my social sabbatical.
A few days "alone in the desert" as it were. Quiet self-reflection in an attempt to build myself into a reasonably sane being. I've always been full of doubts, self-hatred and pain. Such pain. Anyone I tell this to will think I'm exaggerating... so I don't. Anyway, if all goes well that will stop soon. It will be a bumpy road, and no doubt I'll stumble many times, but I'm ready to face it. I'll crash right through everything that was holding me back and emerge strong, bold and pure. I might even look into getting baptized if I feel I trust myself to live up to it.
I won't make any inspirational speeches or declarations past what I've already done. This isn't that kind of quest. It's the quest for self-worth, the quietest and least interesting adventure of them all.