Have you ever seen a portal?

The Dark One appeared to me again. This time with a proposition.

Same church. Different time. I felt the summoning and went outside. It seems he has some link to me, though I dread to think how deeply it runs. Outside I stood on the very edge of the porch, refusing to leave the boundaries of the church. He appeared before me, not as merely a face but this time a devourer of souls. "What?" I asked, annoyed.
And he spoke to me. Not in words, but in thoughts, in ideas.
I am wrapped around your heart, laced through your soul. You belong to me.
"I belong to no one."
I OWN you! I could crush you with a thought. You are as nothing to me.
I sighed. "Go away. You are not welcome here." Then I turned and went inside.

Later, I heard him calling again, this time with a proposition. I went outside again.
I can give you what you want.
I waited, knowing what he would say next, but needing time to think.
You want to understand. You want to know what you are. I can give you that. I can give you power.
I hesitated. I was, I must admit, sorely tempted. "You've given me no reason to trust you," I said.
You have no reason not to trust me! I can give you everything!
"Or nothing."
You have fears for the world. You despise what it has become. Join me, and you can change it for the better.
"By your side? The power would be meaningless. I will not become a puppet."
You cannot hide. I know what you want.
And it was true. He knew what I wanted, what I wanted so, so badly. To know who, what I am. To realize my full potential. And yet, this was the creature who had created everything I hated so very, very much. For many long seconds I pondered my answer, torn. Despite my earlier statement I wanted power, I wanted to be able to change the world. Maybe I could save lives. Make the world a better place. If only I knew. At last I raised my head. "The answer is no."
The anger he projected was incredible. YOU BELONG TO ME! I CAN DESTROY YOU!
I unfurled my wings, stretched out my tendrils, raised my twisted hands in defiance and roared. He rose up and became a dragon, towering over even the church, and screamed. The sheer power made me step back and withdraw back into myself. "You don't scare me," I muttered.
I am everything you fear.
In the distance I saw dark fire in the sky, rapidly drawing closer. No, I thought, you wouldn't. And then it was there. The giant, right in front of me. I stared, silently scared, as it raised its arm. I wanted to close my eyes. I couldn't move.
The fist hit me square in the chest, driving me backwards. My ribs cracked like twigs, my innards smashed. Blood dripped from my mouth. I choked, barely standing, but managed to look up. "The answer is no." Then I walked away.
It was only once inside that I allowed myself to collapse against the door frame, breathing heavily. I limped to the front of the church, bowed my head towards the altar, and mumbled a few words of thanks. Then I went and sat amongst the shining ones until I felt better.

I can only hope I made the right decision. I know no good would have come of it, but I have to wonder; what if it had? Have I now resigned myself to never knowing the truth? Ever? I don't think I could bear that. And now I feel more broken than ever.
Perhaps there are other ways. I hope so.