DESTROY

Guilty. Just a little? Maybe more than just a little. It would have been wrong to hide it. Some might call it trivial, meaningless, and if I had kept quiet it would have been just that; just a little tick. But look at the effect it's having now. I didn't mean that. I just wanted to be honest. Why must pain attach itself to everything I do?

I can't get my mind off that girl in Boston. She had blond, neck-length hair. She wore black with a low neckline and a hint of mascara, also black. She was very pale. We stood next to each other by the side of the road waiting for the WALK sign to light up. I've seen her for perhaps fifteen seconds in my whole life and yet somehow I can't seem to forget her. Not in a romantic way, mind. Nothing like that. It was just one of those moments that never leaves you. I hold onto it because it's special to me, being one of the few things I've ever been able to consistently remember.

IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAAAAAAAAND!!!!!!!!!!!!

Halloween has always been special to me. Not in a good way. It's the darkest time of the year. What else would we call the celebration of night, of greed, of lust, of fire, of daemonic creatures and witchcraft, of fear, terror, the screams of little children, of acts of evil committed in the light of blood, of deals with the Devil himself? Do you know the story of the jack-o'-lantern? It tells of a man name Jack who one day met the Devil and trapped him with a cross. There are many variations of this part of the story, but they all end with Jack releasing the Devil on the condition that he be never sent into Hell. When Jack died he could not enter Heaven, for he was a thief and a dishonest man. So he went down to Hell, but because of his pact with the Devil he could not enter there either. In desperation he asked the Devil for a lantern so he could find his way. The Devil took the turnip he was eating and put a piece of flaming coal inside, then gave it to Jack. Jack set off with his new lantern, and forever wanders in darkness, trying to find a place where his soul may rest. But he never will.
Consider this: in this world all celebrations, good or evil, have been rewritten into little more than market holidays. Everything is about money. Just think about what you're really celebrating. Christmas (the inaccurate anniversary of the Virgin Birth) is now about magic reindeer and getting presents. Easter (the more accurate anniversary of when someone rose from the dead!) is now about bunnies and chocolate eggs. Thanksgiving (remembrance of a time when people were happy to just be alive) is now about turkey. Halloween (celebration of death) is about candy. You see the similarities? They don't mean anything anymore. And what with "political correctness" these days they're going to start meaning less and less.

Feeling kinda down. Still got Civics to do.