Neo-Nine

I am like a child.
Feel me breathe. In. Out. I can breathe now. For so long my breathing was constricted. No more. The tightness in my chest is completely gone. My back is much lighter; I'm standing tall much more of the time, if not always. That said, my entire torso aches. Touching my chest is painful.
I feel like I'm exploding with power. I am so much freer now. The energy... fortunately my body has not gone into a feeding frenzy after being starved for so long and drained. I've entered a safe mode, naturally sucking up the residual energy that people naturally give off. (You can detect it even if you think you can't.) It's slowly filling me up, but I want more... it's like a delicious smell upon the air, hinting at a feast just out of reach, and I'm so hungry... but I'm sure it will get easier. If I've lasted this long it can only go up from here.
On another note, this experience has managed to finally break me of my addiction to porn. It was one of my secret shames, something I despised but kept falling back on in hard times. I feel no embarrassment in admitting it now because I know it's over. Like the last time I cut myself, I can feel that something has ended. I've thought about going back to it at times, and at each point my response is the same: "Fuck you, I'm free now." I just don't need it any more. I am free.
I couldn't bring myself to promise I would live well. I don't trust myself enough yet... and maybe I don't really want to live well. But I'm going to live well for now and see where that takes me. I don't doubt I'll be able to keep it up.
Me for now, us for always. As I breathe, I hope, and the Nine breathe again.